Not Daddy Anymore
by HowCouldThisHappenToMe
Summary: He was far too used to this. The time between was growing shorter. Some days, he wished he could be naive again... As told by 7-year-old Spencer Reid.


**Well, this is one of my preliminaries for Code: RIP. That one will be a while before I start writing or posting that. This one honestly came to me at ten at night a few days ago, after watching an episode of Criminal Minds (I think it was Memoriam, but I'm not sure... I wouldn't be surprised). Anyway, this is a bit of practice with my OC, Joanna Reid. For those of you who aren't big OC fans, don't worry. She's not the star of this oneshot. Spencer is. It's all first person limited on Spencer Reid, mostly from the point of view of him when he was about seven years old (the estimated age that I can figure when his dad left is between 7 and 10, based on dialogue in Memoriam). The title of this may or may not change, depending on if I can find something better to title it. Without further adu, enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters. I've only created Joanna Reid.**

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Spencer curled into himself underneath the covers of his bed. They were arguing again; he could hear them through his closed door. He always hated when they argued, though he put on a brave face for everyone else's sake. Spencer pulled the glasses off his face and set them on his nightstand, so as not to damage them. He then covered his ears with a thick, spaceship-printed pillow. Mom and Dad never seemed happy anymore. They were probably going to get a divorce soon, he figured. Dad would always mention how he couldn't handle Mom's schizophrenia; this time was no different. Mom would always insist that she was fine. They both knew she wasn't. Spencer pulled the pillow closer to his ears, trying to muffle the sounds of his parents' yelling.

When the sound increased, he didn't look up. Instead, he squeezed his eyes shut as well. Seconds later, the yelling was muffled once again and he could feel something tugging at his blanket that still covered him. Spencer peeked out from beneath the covers to see teary brown eyes staring at him with a quivering lip. Joanna was only three years old, too young to understand. All she knew was that Mommy and Daddy weren't playing nice. Sometimes Spencer wished he could be that naïve again. Without a word, he pulled his younger sister into his bed and covered them both with his blanket.

Joanna cried into her older brother's T-shirt, clutching it for dear life. Spencer wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back in a soothing manner. He knew he couldn't stop the arguing, but he _could_ comfort little Joey, as he called her. He sincerely hoped she wouldn't remember any of this as she grew older. Perhaps the memory would be forgotten for suppressed, he reasoned. Either way, his sister didn't need to remember such unhappy times. Spencer let her cry on his shoulder until she eventually fell asleep.

The next day, Dad left. There was no 'goodbye', no 'I'm sorry', nor 'we tried'. Spencer often wondered if it would have been easier had there been _something_. Instead, Dad left his family without a single word. Joanna didn't understand at first. For weeks, she would ask, "Where's Daddy?" There never was a way to answer correctly. Spencer figured she wouldn't fully understand the real reason—she was only three—and Mom would usually answer by telling Joanna that Dad left for a while. She'd then offer to read a book, which Joey eagerly agreed to.

It wasn't for a few years that Joanna came to truly understand what had happened. She approached Spencer as she was doing his homework, and sat across the table from him. He asked what was on her mind, not bothering to look up from his calculus worksheet.

"I know why Daddy left," she answered. Her voice was flat, almost emotionless—almost. Spencer could detect a saddened undertone, causing him to set down his pencil and stare into her eyes. They were filled to the brim with tears waiting to be shed, but she held an expression that made Spencer think Joanna refused to cry. "He didn't want to be a daddy anymore." She glanced away for a second. "I'll never call him Daddy again."

She held true to her word, Spencer realized nearly twenty years later, when he was questioning his father about Riley Jenkins. Joanna never called their father 'Daddy' again. To her, he was simply William.

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**Please, read and tell me what you think of this. Is there anything you think could be done better, style-wise? I want practice and feedback before I start writing "Code: RIP". Constructive criticizm is most welcome.**


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